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wSunday, June 30, 2002 |
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One Day
The dreams i see are nothing in comparision
When i wake up i dont notice You so quick
But i'm all that is on Your mind
At the breakfast table You provide me
but i'm sorry that i forget to say thank You
Can You forgive me?
I go about my day where my head gets
Sometimes crowded and i'm sorry
When i lose the self control
When sometimes i say some things
Or do some things but you stand
There with me and see me
I know You see me, hear me
Call me, hold me, and never leave me
I dont understand why when You see everything i do
Disgusting; small or big; You cry
Sometimes i dont think i can really
Understand it but i know You do
You hear about what i do and what i think
I dont think i can really look You in the face
Sometimes; but You dont care about that
You love me; You say it so subtly
But You dont; It means everything to me
And i want to just be with You forever
But not yet; Not everyone knows
How much You do; Not everyone knows
Everything You do. For me. For them.
So when i go back to sleep please watch
Me. Open my eyes tomorrow.
Help me remember. You are there.
Always.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 9:54 PM
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Battle Royal
Who has the worst lines?
Anakin Skywalker from Episode 2? Or John Nash from A Beautiful Mind?
(Umm...this scene speaks for itself)
Anakin: Don't be afraid.
Amidala: I'm not afraid to die. I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life.
Anakin: What are you talking about?
Amidala: I love you.
Anakin: You love me? I thought we had decided not to fall in love. That we'd be forced to love a lie and that it would destroy our lives.
Amidala: I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway. I truly... deeply... love you and before we die I want you to know.
(Talking about sand)
Amidala: "I like sand. It slips through your fingers."
Anakin: "I don't like sand. It's rough and scratchy. But you're not, you're soft and smooth. Not like sand."
(Trying to 'score')
John: I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that. I mean essentially we are talking about fluid exchange right? So could we go just straight to the sex.
(Alica trying to get John to open up.)
Alica: Try me.
John: I find you very attractive. Your assertiveness tells me that you feel the same way about me. But ritual remains that we must do a series of platonic actions before we can have intercourse. But all I really want to do is have sex with you as soon as possible.
My vote goes off to Anakin. John at least sounds smart.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 5:28 PM
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It Seems to Be Sunday
Another church day but what is lacking? People missing online that are always on. No garland church today? Wait my buddies must have zoomed off to Dai Hoi (a vietnamese thing with churches. i'm not real sure.) Anyways church was fun as usual. Hai gave a sunday school over forgiveness. And Pastor James gave a sermon over the uniqueness of the Bible. Jonathon seems more receptive to the group which is good. Actually which is really great. PT im'd me today. She's in colorado (where dai hoi is) and well yeah. She has internet access. Should i be scared? Anyways. nothing like a relaxing nap to get you going. Finished watching an anime series called scryed. It was pretty good but with most anime the ending really sucks. I wont say wont happened but i was not happy.
Currently i expanded my list of mp3's i really wanna listen to on repeat to:
TRUSTcompany - Downfall
New Found Glory - My Friends Over You
The Apex Theory - Apossibly
The Vines - Get Free
I suggest these songs. They roxours (p. rock sores) my boxours (p. box sores). (Translation: They are good and cool and i will kill you if you dont get them. Not really but take a listen). I took Ann's poll on her blog. Should i be scared that so many people think that marianne's retainer is as hot as ann? So ann is as or slightly less hot then marianne's retainer. Marianne you retainer must be bling blinging or something. I think i'm going to watch a beautiful mind.
You left without saying goodbye. You're so mean to me! Oh well. I'll get my cow just you wait. And indeed our phones suck. Just you wait. Poo.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 4:22 PM
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wSaturday, June 29, 2002 |
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Work, Pho, Shopping, and More Work, Losing the Cool
So today i was late to work but its all ok. When we got up there we spent 15 minutes working and then headed out to eat some pho at Pho Bang. Good stuff there. Side note: Has anyone ever had parents that defeated their own logic? My mom called us before we head up to work and asked us to get her some coffee from Saigon Kitchen. She then asked if we wanted to eat pho by ourselves but then retracted the comment saying that the parking is dangerous cuz old asian people suck at driving and i was going to get hit. Well if anyone knows Saigon Kitchen is in the same plaza as Pho Bang where we were planning to eat. :: scratches head :: Right. Anyways, after we get back from eating pho, we head up to collin creek mall with my mom and i get some pants (Pants shopping suck) and a shirt. Yay more clothes for me. Insert a typical conversation with my sister in some sort of mall like place.
Me: You get excited about excel worksheets?
Sister: Yeah! If you know how to work it, its great!
:: 1 minute of silence ::
Me: You're weird.
After shopping it was the shop. Joy. My day in one crappy nutshell. No one is online. Poo. How homo.
When i get home, crystalbelle (sp) im'd me and told me she was a beta volleyball player then me. I questioned her beta. Apperently that means better. I'm getting old. Oh dear.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 7:04 PM
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Doaner Has Made...
My hit list! Watch out bud. I want those NFG autographes and i'm not afraid to go pinch your nipples to get them. So ngan tells me yesterday that chris and hai were pinching each other's nipples after i left. :: looks at them funny :: Is it just me or anyone else have a hard time imagining this?
Anyways it'd be great if ngan could get up for metro and say something. Hey i'm doing it. Cant be all that bad. Though the thoughts of running to the bathroom are tempting.
I read ryan's blog. The few and rare times it gets updated. Much like Cole's. Yeah suckers i'm pointing you guys out. Now update! Must know more about lives and thoughts. Breaking down...Anyways marianne thinks my blog is the standard. :: looks at her funny :: My life is more fun to read about then live.
Anyways work today. Poo. While some people get to go to celebrate freedom. Why arent the faith people going? Oh well. Anyways. I noticed something. Ever since Hai came back, we used to do things once a month. Like bowling or something like that. We faith people love bowling cuz we all suck at it so much. (Its scary cuz kimmy can kill all of us at bowling single handedly) Anyways no more real once a month things like that. Maybe its just me but i really look forward to friday nights. I actually get something out of it as opposed to a few years ago when i kinda 'prayed' or something. So for me its really not like we're not missing out on a once a month event. Its more like i get this excited for a friday night. Its weird. I actually dont think any of us really miss it. Anyways i have tons of fun just really hanging out with people.
Like last night. PT was talking about dreams. Yeah her dreams are much much weirder then mine. Her arguing with herself in a dream. Or the one where everyone were chickens and she wasnt and she was helping them escape her house. Or something like that. My question is how did she know it was us? Maybe body of a chicken and our faces? I dont know. Weird. No one seems to be up at 9:45. Bunch of bums. I was supposed to leave for work 5 minutes ago but my sister has yet again decided sleep was mucho important. Thats three days in a row. Gah.
I cant help but wonder what the gay is so great about eminem's new album. Everytime someone is interviewed on tv and asked what they are listening to its 'the new eminem album is great.' Anyone else care about a complaining white guy? Screw that you have a complaining asian here! While not making millions and complaining about my other idenity (emo kid) like some people i'm keeping it real yo! Ok that was gay. I dont know eminem is weird. I like my rock and punk stuff. And thus coming full circle. The song in my mp3 list playing right now is NFG - My Friends Over You. Gimme Doaner!!!
Wow i really did come full circle. Weird.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 9:51 AM
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wFriday, June 28, 2002 |
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Day That is Mine
Took my sister to the university at 8 again this morning. That was oodles of fun. Went back home and laid down with the dogs for a little bit. Couldnt sleep cuz monty's breathing sounded like a deflating balloon. My dad called and we exchanged some words and i guess i wasnt paying attention but all i knew is he wanted me to go up and help. So at 10 i show up and my mom tells me no my dad wanted me to come up later and help out. But i was already there so i just ran stupid errands in my car. And when i was leaving to go home at noon my dad told me outta the blue. I'll say you worked a full day today. That was great. I got my hair cut today. Not too bad. The lady asked me if i wanted it cut like last time. I nodded. I'm looking at my hair now. I dont remember it being cut like this before. Ever. Oh well. Its not too shabby. I got this cool one hair thig sticking out in the front. Today i was called to do something for God. I didnt want to do it but humbling yourself and making a sacrifice to do whatever is asked of you is something i dont always enjoy but i do it anyways cuz i want to make Him happy.
Went to bible study tonight. It was good. I mean hai led it tonight and brought up good points that made me think about prayer and how if you just obeyed God you may not be in a bad situation. Speaking of which i have to talk to him about openmindedness and opening your mind to things. Umm...i noticed something strange. I wont say in here but it deserves a look at maybe later. Umm...i think thats it really.
Some people are just plain mean. But thats ok. I'm not mad at you. Yeah the phone sucks. Worse then aim. So poo.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:56 PM
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Uh Huh. Yep.
New Found Glory - My Friends Over You
You know who you are. Poo.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 3:05 PM
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Hmm...
Marianne is the padawan of Alex. But Alex is no jedi. Is that possible? People today really seem to love this whole star wars force thing. :: force push :: muhahahaha.
:: waves hand :: Look confused.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 8:45 AM
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Addiction?
I think, like Marianne, i too am addicted to blog reading. So sad. Yesterday i got the link for Doaner's. My sister thinks his blog is much better looking then mine, but i say poo on you. Oh i found No Cussing Girl's blog too. But as you can see...yea...
Anyways. You people need to blog more! I need more to sustain this addiction of mine. So blog more! I demand of you all!
Yea...
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 8:36 AM
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Yep
Yeah i was feeling pretty down as some of you know. I actually finally spilled what was going on. To some of you. Nothing i wont blog about but thanks, hai, doan, and jennifer. Now i bet my sister will come to me asking what the crap is going on. I tried to lead her into it but she'll say something like what? No you didnt. Hahaha. You guys are spiffy.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 7:10 AM
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Ack!
Last night at 2:19 i woke with a tummy ache. Pretty freaking gay. Ran off to the restroom. And then went to bed. Two minutes later, i got another. Went to the restroom and then back to bed. Two minutes later i got yet another one. Went to the restroom and then downstairs and grabbed some green oil and then went to bed. I slept much better after that.
Stupid wendy's.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 6:57 AM
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wThursday, June 27, 2002 |
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Wisdom
Hai: Human emotion met with apprehension and anticipation only leads to problems.
Indeed
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:26 PM
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True Intentions
Sometimes, not everytime, i wonder what if any, are some people's real motives to do things.You know how some people put up a front in some situations but in reality that isnt what they want. I question stupid stuff like that. I guess i want to know something but i dont wanna tell anybody or talk to anybody about it.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 7:01 PM
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Lazy Day
Spent the afternoon so far sitting on my parents bed with my dogs watching saving silverman. It was ok. Not great. But interesting. Anyways so someone called me today. I dont know know what to do. Maybe chris carrabba sings it best.
Ignoring the phone, I'd rather say nothing.
I'd rather you'd never heard my voice.
too late to be gracious and you do not warrant long good-byes.
You're calling too late.
Dashboard Confessional - The Best Deceptions
But i dont know. Life has a funny way of throwing curve balls right now i just wanna be alone to my friends and myself. Oh yeah my computers and dogs too. Just because they cant talk doesnt mean they dont 'understand' me. Well i gotta get the little sister soon. Leaving here at 5:15. Hopefully she enjoyed the little gay show they do at these things. I hated mine and i'm sure she will too. But there is nothing more amusing then idiots doing stupid things in front of 500 people. What is worse is when they make the 500 people do what they are doing. 500+ people doing the comet woosh! :: sigh :: I dont really know what is so great about listening to Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down. I mean its not like i've experienced something like that. Maybe its the small little naive boy in me thinking about love. Something so simple and confusing. Poo.
Hey its like this >D right? Uh huh. Yep thats what i wanna see.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 3:04 PM
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Brains What??
So today was the third day in a row that i've had a baked potato for lunch. These things are great. Anyways i was sitting here finsihing it up and i thought to myself, in faces of death dont they scoop out monkey brains and eat them like this? Weird. Potato brains...
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 12:58 PM
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Best Idea Evar!!!
I told alex that if he really wanted to be on road rules, he should fake being gay. I mean cmon a gay asian? Thats two bird with one stone. I mean cmon. Asian minority and the gay guy that they always have. BAM! I'd root for you alex! But something about pretending to be gay for ten weeks sounds hard. Go for the bi angle! Go alex! Win me something you bum!
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:51 AM
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Typical Topics
Last night i was talking to kimmy about parents. You know the typical gay asians parents sending their kids off complaining to their friends about which parents is the worst. Hands down mine are! Mwhahaha. Anyways, so i was talking to kimmy and basically comparing culture differences in my point of view on them. The typical family nowadays has two working parents. This really leaves the kids to themselves. But look at it a little bit differently. Like the hours the parents work. Asians are more likely to work longer then white people. This tends to have latch key kids. But wait white people are latch key kids too. The general white parent works generally from 9-5. Pretty simple. Asian parents tend to either work really early in the morning or later into the later parts of the evening. So it still seems funny. Latch key kids coming home and grabbing a snack and sitting in front of a tv. There's something strange about that. Putting your kids in front of TV isnt really raising them. Dropping them off at church hoping they learn good values isnt raising them. Having a 19 year old babysitter watch your kids while she invites her boyfriend over for the evening isnt raising them either. I dont know but i notice more white people are 'rude' to their parents and the parents just let it slide. Makes for rude ungratful children imo. When i was rude to my parents BAM! nothing like being on the recieving end of something. But today i think alot more before i say something to someone. I think alot of white people are afraid to hit their children. This A.D.D crap? Yeah nothing a spanking wont cure. Oh well nothing like a complaining asian or the iron fist of an asian parent enforcing their beliefs into you.
Hai told me last night he was most likely speaking at asian metro. I suggested for him to. He's a good person to speak. He asked me to speak about how worship has changed for me. So i think i'll do it. It should be interesting. I dont imagine it to be really long. No more then like 3-5 minutes. But man. In front of people i know and they are all paying attention to me is kind of a weird thought. I should be fine though. If not i can run off stage and go cry in a bathroom or something.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:39 AM
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7:10
Man its way too early in the morning for this kinda crap. Ngan gave me her blog and i'm looking at it right now. She's got a pic of hamtaro. A little hamster anime character. Reminds me of this time when we got a dog named choo choo (dont ask me i didnt name it) from anh dao to take care of. He wanted to poke her eyes. I kinda wanna poke hamtaro's eyes for some reason. Anyways Kimmy left to colorado today. I told her last night not to die or else i'd get mad at her :P. Because yeah that makes all the difference. I'm waiting for my sister to get ready to leave to go to the university so she can do her fun school stuff today. I on the other hand will come back home and sleep til iono whenever. Nothng really happened yesterday. Just the third day of work...umm...new season of southpark started. Trying to cheer up kimmy and doan. Talked to cole. Ummm...yea.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 7:15 AM
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wWednesday, June 26, 2002 |
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High Fidelity
'Did i listen to pop music because i was depressed or was i depressed because i listened to pop music?'
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 9:38 AM
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This is Beyond Annoying
I thought the agrument i had with a mormon was bad. No one with a person that was siding with the beliefs of a witness was worse. So basically we get into a fight about Jesus and all she does is hammer out points so quick its impoosible for me to keep up. One after another and i'm trying to think of a way to respond and keep up with psycho scrolling messages moving faster then i can read and think. Basically it ended in her calling me names and cussing me out. Joy. So much for a civil agrument. It boiled down to her using lines from Dogma to support her theology. 'Man took a good idea and made a whole belief system out of it.' She quoted the entire thing to me. Yeah. Umm...theology from a kevin smith movie isnt too great. Then she accused me of thinking that i was being bullheaded and not being open to other beliefs. Yeah. I do think what i believe is right. But at the same time she just jumped head first into an agrument that she had no idea who wrote, backgrounds, intentions, natures of things. All in all, i just wanted to just throw something or scream out loud. Yeah i'm going to say mormons and JW's are psychos. Catholics are borderline. This whole pope thing? Taking away from the glory of God and whats up with catholic pastors molesting little alter boys? Whatever. Yeah i'm going to say that what i believe is right. No movements. I like other people as people. But how they believe they can attain salvation is wrong. End of stroy. No tolerance. This is a good reason why i dont bring religion up as a topic of conversation unless they arent out to blantantly prove me wrong.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 9:31 AM
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wTuesday, June 25, 2002 |
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Tuesday Night
Tonight's open discussion was prolly the first ever that i've really seen something like this. A group of asians getting together and talking about something. Actual talking! :: gasp :: It was interesting. Nothing i really ever experinced so today i just observed how things were done instead of really adding input. All in all different but fun. Our topic was over the role of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is only in Christians and is sorta the comforter, the thing that enpowers us to do things, not really a consious par se but similar. Some people asked thought provoking questions like where is the line from overcoming something psychological or was it the work of the Holy Spirit. All sorts of nifty goodies there. After that was fun at wendy's. I cant believe i had lunch and dinner there. Geez. It was pretty fun drifting in and out of conversations. One side was about dashboard confessional and the 'wailing' of chris carrabba. The other side was...i think just slamming chris. And the other was was really all to themselves. Anyways it was a fun night. Cant wait til the weekend. No work.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 10:43 PM
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Second Day of Work
My ears hurt. These headphones are getting to where they press on my ears and kinda mush them into my frames so i guess its really my frames that are causing me problems. Apprently wendy's can get busy at twelve o clock. Who would have thought? Not much really today. No fighting which is good for me. I figure, hopefully, i can join in on the biblical fray of fun tonight. Joy. I think hai told me the topic is the role of the Holy Spirit, so yay. Iono.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 4:55 PM
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A Morning
Here i am sitting in front of my computer and its 9:08 in the morning. There's really nothing to do. No one is on and i have to leave for work soon. I feel pretty tired but not tired at the same time. I wonder if today my body can handle swetshop labor. At least i dont feel so bad about today as i did yesterday. Hopefully anyways. So i realize that my sister has to go up to the school on thursday and friday. This could mean i'm not working. Oh the joy is coursing through my mind. But the chances of that are like me trying to actually feel happy at work. It can happen but the likelyhood of such a thing is slim. Hmmm...its another day.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 9:18 AM
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wMonday, June 24, 2002 |
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Get Your Own Crap You Homo Banana Boy!!!
What the gay is this? Do you have nothing better to do with your time then to just make fun of me? Geez.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:52 PM
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Just Me?
Is it just me or has bubble tea become super popular with asian people lately? I dont know why but it seems i cant go through one day without hearing someone complain about bubble tea. What the gay is bubble tea??? Screw that. I'm going make to my chocolate brownie frap. :: pouts and scoffs :: Bubble tea. Really.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:33 PM
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First Day of Work
So for the past summers since close to the beginning of time. Ok not that far back but prolly since i was in the fifth grade or the sixth grade, i've had the oppurtunity to go to my parents work every day for a summer. It is never and enjoyable experience. I really hated it as a child and well the feelings havent changed too much as i grew older. Last night my dad tried to lecture me about being presentable at the shop so i wouldnt get laughed at by the workers. So today i dressed somewhat nice. Not fancy. Not church like. Fairly casual. Plain white tshirt, jeans, and flip flops. Not bad. Something i can try and be comfortable in. What does my mom say when i walk through the door? Something along the lines of my appearence is unacceptable in a demeaning fashion. Since i dont understand vietnamese very well, the rough translation is something like, ' You look like you came off the street.' Man there is nothing like years of emotional turmoil thats to my parents. Nothing like it in the world. So that puts me in a bad mood for pretty much the rest of the day.
Lunch time i went to Chick-a-fila in the mall. I love Chick-a-fila with the exception that their sandwiches are slightly dry. Makes me tend to drink more which leads to me eating less and filling myself upwith drink and not food. But thats ok. So i'm in line today and a register opens up. Ok. Is it just me or is it first come first serve at registers? Isnt that right? So i went to the register and an old lady said to me, 'Excuse me.' I turned around and wondered if my fly was unzipped or something and no it wasnt but she just cut right in front of me and went ahead and ordered. I was in shock. This lady just cut in front of me in line when i was there first. Sure maybe she was in line before me but thats another line. Grr...old people. Grrr.
So at the shop i do extremely dull work. Hang tag or bag clothes. Pretty simple. But then you do that repeatively. Like 500+ times in the course of a couple of hours starts to get unfun. Added to that mayham is the fact that i have nice headphones that maybe weigh 6 oz. maybe. A couple of hours with those things on and they become 3 lbs. Not good for my neck. Added to that is i only had three songs on rotate. Yeah. Thats my fault but man its really weird to get outta touch with reality and then zone back in; its really weird. Time also seems to not move naturally at the shop. As if the shop was a big gravity well that bent time in a strange manner and fashion. How evil.
So yesterday hai tells me that i've been acting different in the past two weeks. I guess the idea of working at the shop doesnt overwhelm me much. I wont go into asian parent bashing of this or that. Most people know the story and so there is no need to rehash such a business. When summer comes around i tend to really hate it. I hate this season. Its where i become subhuman with my parents and where i hit my breaking points mentally and emotionally more often then ever. At times, i remember myself losing myself in sorrow and anger not only that but my faith declines rapidly in these times. I hate the summer time.
So i know i can be treated lowly. But man today wasnt a good day to begin with. But at 5 when the hispanic people left my mom must have thought, 'oh they left i can turn off the a/c and fans back there now.' And so she does that and now the sweatshop in the back becomes super sauna. Like from 78 to 85. Its death back there. :: sigh :: This summer is going to be another personal hell and something to pay my head doctor when i get older. I can see it now.
My mom wants to lose weight in the stomach area. So my sister is in the next room trying to coach her to do a situp. Yes indeed. One situp. What should i be more afraid of? That my mom wants to lose weight? Or that she is so out of shape one sit up is killing her?
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 10:43 PM
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wSunday, June 23, 2002 |
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I got Bored
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you are a file folder
why have pretty, shiny
colours when you can be beige? you're a no-fuss type of person and
it shows. just remember, all work and no play makes jack a dull
file folder
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©2002
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Interesting.. You are a Brussel Sprout
Quiet and reserved, you are not one to bust in on the social scene. A good book, or in this case an online test, suits you just fine. Oddly enough, the brussel sprout is a commonly disliked vegetable. Maybe it needs to get out there and party, don't you think?
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Uh-oh.. You are slightly Redneck!
Do I
hear the theme from Jaws? Oh, buddy, you are almost a borderline
case of neckus redius- you are a fan of wrestling and most likely
own a truck which was in its prime in the late seventies. Your collar
may be white, but your neck is red!
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Mama's Boy! You are Quiche Florentine
Woah there- mommy need to read this text to you? Well, you are truly in good standing with her and the rest of your family, and you like your microwave meals to give you that thought of home you thirst for. Somewhat dependent yet a caring individual, it seems you don't need assistance anymore but you enjoy help and security anyways
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w00t! You are a True Geek!
Sci-fi, technology, computer games, and solitude rule your life. Your main diet is likely to be cola, pringles, cheese whizz, and wheat thins. Some may say you're introverted. Some may say you need to be more social. we say, you r0x0r. And only you understand what I just said.
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©2002
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No gain, no pain! You are the Brown M&M
You are beyond cautious and it seems like 'fun' is a foreign concept to you- live it up every now and then and you'll see just how much you are missing! |
©2002
http://internetjunk.co.uk |
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posted by
Michael at 2:49 PM
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What a Day
What a depressing morning. Well the morning only started out bad. Yeah i hope you feel better cause you're bringing me down too. Anyways, it seems i've been on some kind of i'm better then you or holier then thou mood lately. I guess some people are just stupid. Anyways, today in service my sister complains about hai, chris, jennifer, and alex missing out to not do anything in the kitchen while she gets to sit through a service and sermon. I told her if it bothered her that much just go and complain to hai not to me. We apprently cooked curry. Or tried to cuz two batches out of three really sucked and was turned to gumbo or shredded chicken delight. There was no delight. It was rancid smelling. Kind of tasted ok. Chris's curry, strangely, turned out really good. Like what real curry tastes like. I'm scared. Anyways after that eventful church day, we whisked away over to the garland church and listen to little grace tell her side of a story. It was forever long. Forever, forever. Oh well. So anyways cheer up. Things may turn up yet.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 2:32 PM
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My Very Own Love Song
Closer the stars seem; Further is the world; Alone but not lonely; Where i feel happy; With you i still feel so alive; Set apart from everything else; Breathe in; High hopes; The talks that we shared together; Like i really deserve you; But you seem to think so; I fell behind and you waited.
Your tears, they drenched my shirt as i hold you close to me. You see another side of me. You're the gift i didnt expect. The person i always dreamed of. You are the voice that i love to hear. The feeling never leaves. Strange how things are. Strange how things turn out.
Your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your touch, this cant be real. Dont wake up now. This is the happiest i've been in a long time. This is the best i've ever been. This is what dreams are made of.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 9:44 AM
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wSaturday, June 22, 2002 |
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Dogs and Shirts
The little blonde white dog looked at the boy. He looked back at her high up in his computer chair and gave her an eye. She looked back cocking her head to a side and stared back. The boy looked back more intensly locking his eyes with the dog's and glared into them. The dog looked. The boy looked. The boy gripped the seat tightly as his eyes were aching. He blinked.
'Man, you unblinking dog you,' the boy said. He sighed and picked up the dog and stuck her inside his cotton white fruit of the loom shirt (cuz they are really cool).
He sat back in his chair stretching his arms out and legs. He sighed in content. The dog inside his shirt just moved around trying to get comfortable. She wiggled around, standing up, sitting down, curling herself, only to get up again and give the boy what appeared to be a moving stomach. Or an evil alien inside his body...
Anyways, the boy went back to typing his review. He stopped. He looked at the screen funny. Something warm. Something warm licking him. Before the boy could yell at the dog to stop, she bit. The boy's toes and fingers curled and his mouth shut quick. Only a slight sound escaped his lips that were crushing one another. The dog only stood up inside his shirt and pulled herself to the top and hung out of his collar. Her paws and head dangling in the air as the boy quietly rubbed his bitten chest.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 8:36 PM
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Church, Shop, Pho, and Realization
I woke up today at freaking 6:30 in the morning but it was ok. I sadly, oh so sadly, had people to talkto that early in the morning. Doan, PT, and cathy kept me amused into my sister woke up and we left and headed out for church and attended a leader's meeting today. Good stuff there. It feels that we are moving forward and making a real effort at trying to have an english ministry here. Yay for us!
After that we headed out to my parents work and helped them for a bit. Oh i love my headphones and music. Nothing but bliss in a crappy work environment. Oh well.
For lunch, the ha family decided to dine at the wonderful pho bang. Good stuff. I havent had pho in forever. :: drools ::
I realized today as i got a crack for neverwinter nights that my video card has really come to suck. Crappy frames in games now and the quality is now barely standable. So this summer hopefully i'll be smacking a Geforce 4 Ti something or another in there and see. I also want a hercules soundcard. Hopefully to obtain this one soon. But who knows. Anyone wanna pitch me a few bucks to get started?
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 5:30 PM
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wFriday, June 21, 2002 |
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Christian Ghost Stories
OT. For the sport fans, it means overtime. For other people it means nothing cuz they look at it funny and have no idea what it is. For the rest, it means off topic. You know the normal conversation people have and then stray away into something else and people wonder how they ended up talking about that? Thats going off topic. Happens alot. Anyways i think tonight thats what happened. Well not really but kind of. What does it really matter cuz we all got something really good out of it. Basically tonight we covered the tailend of Ephesians (Ch 6:10-20) about the armor of God. Then we kinda trailed into demons and all sorts of fun things. The fun things in life that make you cringe. I dont know why but i am really interested in demons and what they can and cannot do. So this discussion is really interesting. Anyways after FNBS (Friday Night Bible Study cuz we're really cool like that) we left and headed over to Garland church and hung out there and i wished Ngan a happy birthday for the third time. Yay. Saw Doan so that was cool too. Hmm...not bad night.
Work tomorrow at the parents sweatshop. Nothing i cant do. Music makes my day move faster. Which means this TRUSTcompany song has got to be burned tonight. This is really good stuff. Its really all i've been listening to. I dont know why. I love my headphones. They are the mute buttons on life. Shuts out the laughter, the criticisms, and the nagging of people. Gah. Anyways. Lots to do tomorrow.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:38 PM
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Dreams
Lately my dreams have been filled with death. Really weird things. I dont know why.
Yesterday i dreamed that i was in my parents bedroom at like 3 in the morning talking to them and sitting on the bed and then i walk out into the living room and there was mist there that was darker then darkness, if that makes sense. It kinda swirled around and then formed into the grim reaper sickle in hand and with a deep fire for eyes. Anyways death kinda floated through the walls and into my parents bedroom and then just struck his sickle into my dad's chest and my dad collapsed.
Last night was really really weird. I dreamt that someone i knew (name being withheld for certain reasons) was chasing me around. He had a silver spreader from Cutco and those things have an edge on them so they can cut too. Anyways I dont remember if he killed me or not but he pretty much slaughter my family and what he did to my dogs was pretty cruel and horrible. The last part i remember of my dream is like me running somewhere with him following me screaming at me and trying to get me with the spreader.
Weird.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 10:27 AM
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In Honor of...
Hey guys today's Ngan's sweet 16 so today i'll do pretty much everything in honor of that. Yay! Go Ngan. Umm...live longer. Yeah....
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 9:40 AM
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Upset
Yeah today has turned to one of the more crappy days as the night is ending. Well my parents decided that i have gone out to much this week and had too much fun this week. Let's recap where mikee has gone this entire week.
Sunday: Church
Monday: Sat on my butt
Tuesday: Watched TV at my house
Wednesday: Played on the computer
Thursday: Mikee wants to leave and guess what? NOPE!
:: sigh :: So my parents do have problems with me that they dont want to talk to me about such trust.
Situation: We're on the way home from somewhere like church and i'm talking to my mom.
Mom: Call me when you get home.
Me: Mom we're just pulling up to the door.
Mom: No i want you to call me from the house line.
Me: Why?
Mom: Because i just want you to.
Now if some of you wonder what could this horrible child do to lose his mother's trust. Well something along time ago. Nothing really recent, i mean its not like me and my parents really talk...but who would really be at fault there? The parents for not really being at home? The child for not trying? I really cant say anything because each situation is unique. In mine, i honestly think my mother should have some trust in me.
Anyways to really continue the story i do have to call my mom on the house line and we get into a fight about trust and her not having any and i corner her about why did i have to call her on the house line and once again the rules change.
This really has been nothing but a bashfest for me i guess. I'm pretty upset that when i asked someone a honest simple question they decided to get vengence by warning me. Really nothing to cry about but i hate that. Also it seems some guy jacked my sign off name in my blogs. Yea that Emo kid. Man that makes me mad. Grr...if i had an animated gif of an angry face i would post it but sadly no...
Oh yes once again i disappoint doan in not going somewhere. :: sigh :: Parents you suck! I'm sorry doan.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 12:09 AM
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wThursday, June 20, 2002 |
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June 20th
From 11 - 2 today KFC is giving away free popcorn chicken. Go get you some. I know i am. Anyways, currently rotating in my mp3 list is TRUSTcompany - Downfall. Pretty angry stuff there but good. Umm...really nothing going on today. I mean i plan to go to garland's VBS tonight. I plan to. If none of you guys have seen it, WC3 buddy Richard from Houston has got a site up. Its coming along nicely. I might join what he's doing but i'm not sure if i have anything to bring to the table. Well other then my...err nvm. It seems i'll join in the mayham for some good fun. Yay for mikee!
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:21 AM
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wWednesday, June 19, 2002 |
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Nothing to do today
Yeah, thats me. Nothing really accomplished or life changing done today. Just sat around and watched my tv and cartoons. Now the best job ever was if i got paid to do this. Oh happy day! Anyways my cell phone is getting changed which is homo only because another company is cheaper. Who cares about signal? Oh oh not me! People are hard enough to hear as is. :: sigh :: Oh well like i have a choice in the matter. BTW hai, pay your phone bill.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 10:51 PM
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Doan's Song Pt. 2
I know i dont see the inside of you
Where everything hurts you
When everything reminds you
Dont fall
Stay strong
Just because i cant see
Everything inside
You dont see what i see
I dont feel the things you do
Dont let it get the best of you
Break away
Fall away
See the other side
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 10:28 PM
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Doan's Song
I dont know what makes you hurt
Where inside you cry
When the world laughs at you
I wish i could take it all away
No more tears rolling down your face
Into your pillow at night
When waking up the next day is just a cruel joke
A pitiful reminder of the everyday life
Reminding you that life isnt fair
I dont have an answer
But if i could take it all away
Just to see you smile again...
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 12:34 PM
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wTuesday, June 18, 2002 |
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Mushi Mushi
I dont know about yall but i get pretty excited about new software releases. Its kinda like waiting for your favorite artist's releasing albums but not really. Anyways, sometimes it seems forever when you're waiting for something and when they finally show it, its freaking awesome and great. Winamp ver 3.0 and freaking Trillian are at the top of my list at the moment. I love these things. :: hugs ::
Note on music: i was talking to someone earlier tonight about music and they asked me what kind of music do i hate. Basically to really sit there and call someone's work, their life, heart and soul, utter crap shows that you have no regard for what they do and the person they are. I respect music and art. I may not agree with the message or what they want to convey but i will respect them for what they do. It does take alot of guts to get up somewhere and basically do something for someone or Someone. And to totally knock someone a peg down is wrong. Or at least to me.
It looks like i may be scoring a copy of WC3 for free from my buddy Tin. But the deal is that i bring the rig for some LAN'ing action. Hmmm. You drive a hard deal Tin. I WANT MY COPY! GIMME!
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:49 PM
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Lookie!
Hey cathy check out what i got!! Joshua Haven's pick!
:: evil laughter ::
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 8:48 PM
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Anyone else?
Maybe its just me but i was checking people's profiles (cuz apprently some people do like to change theirs) and i looked into Tin's profile. Tix to Dashboard? When did this happen? Who did you mug these tickets from? Man so many questions, and...yeah...so many questions. Grab me chris's guitar pick so i can show cathy! :: evil laughter :: Hey cathy. I have joshua haven's guitar pick and you do not!
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 10:32 AM
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Friends
I know i really have friends when even on my crappy day and my bad attitude they still wanna talk to me and try and cheer me up. Thanks doan, hai, cole and ryan and whoever else i may have forgotten. You guys mean alot to me.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 12:35 AM
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Maybe?
Maybe more people read my blog then i orginally figured out to read it. Tonight i get more IM's then normal. I dont really know why. Maybe its because i'm a popular guy tonight. Or maybe there's no one else to talk to on their lists. BTW, Tina Hoang is really really cool. ( Dont hurt me tina :P )
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 12:24 AM
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Sic
I think sadly i'm getting more and more sick of my parents daily. Its not like i do nothing around the house but more so now all my parents are saying is get a job, get a job, get a job. I'm pretty sick of it. At the beginning it wouldnt have been so bad if my mom and dad hadnt said 'oh no we're not pushing you to get a job.' But now they are. Its not only that but they want it to be around here and they want it to be computer related. Then my dad just nagged me about me getting my master's for college and not just my bachlor's. This is getting so tiresome. I dont know what they want me to do anymore. All it is nowadays is no we dont and then they turn around and say yes we do. What am i supposed to think? How am i supposed to feel? Especially when my parents dont even have faith in me. 'He's not going to get a job today.' Thats exactly what they said before i got the vector job. Now my mom and dad wanna send me to a doctor about my possible 'bunion' problem and the fact i'm flat footed. Ok i really dont care about stuff like this. Really. Some people take it too far but this is extreme.
Sometimes
I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I would try
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I
'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over
Sometimes
I wish I was smart
I wish I made cures for
How people are
I wish I had power
I wish I could leave
I wish I could change the world
For you and me
'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over
'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over
-Boxcar Racer: I feel so
Lecture, lecture, lecture.
My father apprently feels that i need to gain weight. I'm too skinny. This must be coming from people who tell my parents i'm too skinny.So now my parents think its ok for me to go work out. Even though at the beginning in the summer when i wanted to my mom told me no. So what is it now? Michael go work out for a month and see how that goes.
What else? There's this girl that works with her family at my parents shop and she goes there and helps her parents out. So my parents think its great that we go up there to help them out. Or so they feel. But wait what does this girl really do? She sits and sews and has a fan blowing on her. If none of you know the work we do, its not anything like that. We stand for X amount of hours and there is no fans. They dont call these things a sweatshop for nothing. The work is pretty hard and guess what. There are no asians that do the work we do. We get the lowest of low for work at my parents shop because they love us that much.
Not only that but my dad now says that he wants me to find a job to know and understand the value of money. Umm...what was i doing before hand in the school year? I believe the term is working. Trust me. I'm not going back to McDonalds or anything.
To top that off, a long time ago he used to say it was bad for us to compare ourselves to other people. What does he do tonight? He tells me you should be better then all your friends. You need to be on top. I really dont care about being number one. Because there will always be someone better then me. I dont care about trying to make more money then my friends. Yes i want to succeed but when my competition is my friends and people around me and just for them to look at me and say wow i wish i was michael? No i would never wish my life on someone else. No one deserves it. I dont really even want to succeed for my parents to prove them wrong or anything. If i ever did it, it would be because i enjoyed what i did.
I know asian parents are bad in the sense of freedom and psuhing the limits of their children but my parents are the extreme. They really only use things to benefit themselves and their objectives in my opinion. My dad talked tonight of something Hai said on sunday. My parents dont even like him but they twisted his words to benefit them. No i dont hate my parents. I just really hate the things they do to themselves and me.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 12:06 AM
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wMonday, June 17, 2002 |
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?
Anyone else notice that Sailor Moon's Moon Magic Tiara attack looks alot like Krillin's Distro Disk?
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 2:53 PM
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Job??
Man i have an interview at 2:30 somewhere in Farmer's Branch. Gay. So far away. I'm thinking about not going to it. I dont think my parents would be pleased with me driving 30 miles away just for a job. I wouldnt be happy driving 30 miles just for a job. I called the city cuz they had an ad in the paper for a job. Apprently its nothing i can do. Well maybe dispatcher but then thats kinda lame plus no qualifications for it. Hmmm. Trabajo donde es??? Man this sucks.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 2:41 PM
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Again i go unnoticed
Last night was the premire of unplugged ver 2.0. Dashboard Confessional played and man it was pretty awesome to watch them play live. He sounds pretty good live. A bunch of strange people just kinda bobbing their heads and swaying back and forth to the music. Prior to that was Staind. They werent bad. Most of their songs are pretty much acoustic anyways so nothing really awe inspiring. But its nice to watch some music i actually can enjoy. I love my mtv 2. Much better then mtv which shows crappy shows. Except for the donkey one. That was kinda strange. Would you want to get things stapled to your butt?
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 12:54 PM
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Whats an anal probe? Its where they stick a big metal hoob-a-joob up yo butt!
Happy father's day. Nothing really happened today. I think my dogs like to tear things up. Didnt really see any of my other friends today. Just really the faith gang (Faith gang = Hai, alex, chris, jennifer). Sad sad but its ok. I mean just cuz i didnt see any of my friends doesnt mean i couldnt enjoy my day. Nothing really super interesting happened today. I mean i just floated by in my day. Well my mom did yell at me to find a job. I think she's pushing this more so then i am. I guess she doesnt want to be the only one working this summer. Well tomorrow begins the search again.
If most people dont know, i've grown pretty distant to some of my white friends. The few white friends i have reading this blog it really isnt meant for you but there are some people who i will point out in particular. Jeremy, Matt, and Chris. These guys were like my brothers in high school. Kinda joined at the hip. Anyways after graduating high school, i guess i grew apart from my friends. Didnt go out as often. Didnt hang out as much. I dont know why. Just things happen. I admit right off. In high school i wasnt who i said i was. Closet christian if you will. By no means am i perfect. But really. I think Josh Havens of Blisse said it best friday night. He was talking about this story were one of his friends were talking about christians. He said that she said there was no real difference between her christian friends and her nonchristian friends. Just a title really more then anything. Basically when she finally say down and got into it she figured out that Christianity is great. The people were not. How sad this is. My point is that why is it just a title? You call yourself a christian and yet i still see people cussing take for example someone's profile about life. They basically told people to quit whining cuz everyone wants to live. Do you think thats true? I think i'm prepared to die at any given moment. It really wouldnt bother me too much. Really and some guys go to church and are confused about some things. I dont really understand that completely. I've grown up in my church and have fallen away once or twice but nothing to horribly dramatic. I've always known God was there. Just questions alot of times that i finally got cleared up. I dont really quite understand how someone can just fall completely. I guess its nothing i could ever understand. And of course there are the people where they just outright defy and deny an existence of any god. They outright say he doesnt exist and just live the way they want to. I guess he doesnt realize he's hurting himself. I guess he wonders why things are sometimes so freaking horrible for him. And yet he continues to just kinda do whatever. I dont really understand most of my white friends and what motivates them. I guess some of them dont really understand me. So i guess its pretty much the same on both ends.
Every now and then i get IM's from this guy from high school and he'd try and say things from high school. I questioned myself asking did i really find something like this funny a long time ago? I dont really know. I dont really get the way things work sometimes. But its not for myself to understand.
My point is I'm not the same as i was. Ryan can see this. Brent can see this. None of my other friends really can. They still try and suggest music to me but i dont listen to music the same anymore. I'm not angry anymore. They sit there and cuss. It bothers me now. They take the Lord's name in vain and i get offended. Things are changing for me. I see that now. I wish they would.
Oh the title. I watched south park today. Its like the 6th time i've seen the cartman gets an anal probe episode. It's still funny to me though.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 12:19 AM
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wSunday, June 16, 2002 |
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[ Enjoy Blisse ]
Last night of course me and my sister were rushing to complete whatever we needed to do to leave so we could go see blisse that night. Anyways so we're out the house at 5:20 and head over to the church and pretty much wait for about 3 or 4 other people to show up. Small crowd. We head over to a boston market so some people could eat. We had a much interesting conversation about knives and the many features they are. Speaking of which i still need to quit my job. On my agenda tomorrow. After that its around like 7:20 and we head off to deep ellum. When we get there, there was the fun issue of parking. But we eventually found one that was decent while hai was all afraid someone was going to steal his advanced calculus book. We didnt want to head into the club right away so we ended up walking up and down the streets of deep ellum. It was really strange. They even had a viet resturant down there. I dont imagine it to be so good though. We stopped inside a cafe brazil and cathy was all excited cuz josh (the lead singer of blisse) was there eating with his wife. Heaven forbid he should eat. I was afraid she was going to knock out his wife and like take her spot across the table from him. So strange that girl. Anyways we eventually get back into the club in time to catch the first opening act the blue hotel.
The blue hotel was alright. Their set consisted of like 5 or 6 songs. The only thing that really annoyed me was the drummer. He seemed to have the same beat in every song. It was just really smacking the big cymbal and there was slight varation to his pattern. But i guess i cant really complain. The last two songs they played were pretty good. I dont think the drummer used the same beat pattern there or if he did it was in moderation. Everyone else in the band was actually really good. These guys could take off. Then blisse came out to set up.
It was pretty crazy. By this time i was second row dead center or a little off to the right depending on the movements of the crowd. But when josh came out to tune his guitar it was a sad sight to see/hear tons of girls just screaming. 'OH MY! HE'S TUNING HIS GUITARS! GET HIM!!!' Insert girlie high pitched scream here. But what can i say? I really enjoyed the show. It was a good one. Best i've experienced in awhile. Blisse's set was about 10 songs long? Something like that. It was pretty insane on some of their songs that are on the cd. Like in 'the way you are', i think some guys made a mosh pit behind me. To each his own. Cathy stole josh's playlist and then put shoutout to cathy. She'll be forever known as the shoutout girl. She screamed very girlie much like the rest of the white girls. I guess asians can hold their own. The bassist for the band was freaking amazing. His fingers just flew up and down the fret board hitting notes and patterns. He is the one that actually sings Wait on the cd which was pretty impressive. After blisse finished their set the crowd was nice enough to try and rush the stage and me with it. All these girls just trying to get to the front screaming for something from josh. My glasses nearly came off. I jumped on the stage and grabbed one of Josh's picks. Pretty awesome. In your face cathy! By this time i was freaking dead center front row. Of course blisse came out for an encore performance of like three songs. Somehow two girls managed to wedge themselves between me and my sister in the front row and during songs the one next to me screamed louder then any girl and jumped higher then any girl. So what this meant me and my flip flops was that she came down harder and more often on my feet and my ears were treated to a higher pitch and frequency. Oh the joy. When josh dropped his capo cathy picked it up and the annoying white girls next to me were screaming for her to give it back. She kinda looked at it funny. But after the show we left and headed over to denny's.
Me: Hey chris if you eat half that butter, i'll eat the other half.
Chris: Sure
Eww butter by itself is pretty disgusting. It kinda moves around in your mouth and has no real taste. I spent a nifty 5 dollars at denny's on a coke and one scoop of ice cream. Eh. But all in all last night was a blast. Blisse sound pretty close to what you would expect them to sound like. The cd.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 9:09 AM
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wSaturday, June 15, 2002 |
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DDR and the Magic that it is
I went to Richardson Square Mall today to turn in an application you know cuz my other job is a gift from the devil. So while waiting for my mom and sister to do whatever they are doing, i was standing in cyberzone (an arcade) and watched some kids play DDR. It was interesting. Bunch of asians gathering around watching two people move their feet really quick to some techno beats. Then i moved to Para Para Paradise. That was like the white boy's DDR. A bunch of white kids doing basically rave motions in front of a screen. :: sigh :: DDR for the asians. Para Para Paradise for the white folks. Where are the brothers and mexicans?
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 3:35 PM
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wFriday, June 14, 2002 |
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I Like Old People; Really i Swear It...
This old lady keeps calling the house from a hospital. I like old people really. I mean it. I love my grandma. There's nothing like her cooking. Or maybe that was my aunt's. But really my grandma is great. She's old and cool and tells me cool things like sure michael you can go outside and at least try and get a tan. Not really but that would be cool. She watchs the WWF but thats not the point.
Anyways this old lady keeps calling so finally i got feed up.
Me: Hello.
Old Lady: Oh i have the wrong number.
Me: Listen lady, this is like the fifth time you've called my house saying you have the wrong number. I dont know about you but after three times i would check the number i'm dialing. Do you fingers malfunction? If so please get a nurse to dial the number for you because it seems everytime you dial it you get our number. So do me a favor and quit calling my house and bothering me!
Old Lady: ....
Me: :: click ::
I like old people i swear.
It seems when i poke my belly button i get a tummy ache. Oh bane of my digestive system!
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:53 PM
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Meecrob
Church tonight was a blast. Man i cant really remember a time when i really really just enjoyed every single aspect of something. Today i decided to quit my crappy job tomorrow morning. I had to drive alex back to his house and we just talked which was pretty cool. You know about the asian side of things. Then we played dominos and jenga at the church and we celebrated my sister's birthday there too. Doan came by yay! But no blisse for friend doan tomorrow. PT didnt get to see her 'friend' cuz he took forever with the wingstop. Oh well. Things happen i guess. PT called me later taht night after doan left saying she was crying. I'm not really sure about that. But i dont like to see her cry cuz she's my friend. :: sigh :: Mikee will try and go to Ngan's party and most surely try for hurricane harbor. He'll try.
BTW: Meecrob is a curse word from South Park. Its not really a cuss word but its pretty funny.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:40 PM
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Flag Day :: fanfare ::
Woo! Today's happy freaking flag day! What great fun. Today also happens to be my sister's birfday. So if you havent already do wish her a happy birthday. She does deserve it.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:32 PM
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wThursday, June 13, 2002 |
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Weekend of Fun
Tomorrow after my gay training, i'm all about hitting my church and celebrating, yes folks, FLAG DAY!!!! :: fanfare :: We owe a great about to this country and tomorrow the nerds of the churchs will converge on ours and LAN in spirit of FLAG DAY!!! :: fanfare :: Saturday, once again after the gay training, its Blisse at the Door in dallas. W00T!!! Man this weekend its going to be great fun for me! Yay! Something to be happy about. Too bad doan's not going to be there. I'll have great fun in her name though. 'Wooo, outta the way! i'm partying for two here!' :-/. Hrm.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:39 PM
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DBZ
There's something about an anime series where they seem to draw out each episode with endless and needless talking. I mean i love anime but theres something about DBZ adn drawing about the entire series to 400+ episodes where it could be easily half that from all the stupid talking and recapping everything. :: sigh :: Go watch scryed. Its not bad and neither is Hellsing. Good stuff there.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:29 PM
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Note on the Cable
Me: Hey mom did we get our cable hooked up illegally?
Mom: NO! You think we get it for free? We paid 500 dollars for that.
Me: :: shakes head and walks away ::
Mikee is sorry for making his buddy doan upset.
:: sigh ::
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 12:03 AM
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wWednesday, June 12, 2002 |
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E; Thoughts
There's something strange about that stupid white rapper telling rich white kids how angry he is. Its not like i care. Should he? There's just something stupid about him making an album telling people not to copy the real slim shady and the next one complaining about people wanting shady. Only in america can one man do such a thing and millions of stupid white people agree and call his sound new, fresh or something equally homosexual.
I have come to find out my future employers are homosexual and all about scamming me. Man i was looking forward to selling a whole lot of knives too. Instead i now must be off to find another job. I dont know maybe sitting in someone's home trying to sell them super sharp knives isnt for me. Another thing is a way to quit. Man i think i wanted to tell them straight up that yo i aint down with you scamming self and i aint want no part ya hear? Or something equally professional. I think i'll just tell them my grandma is sick and dying and i will have to leave the country. Sounds good to me.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:51 PM
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wTuesday, June 11, 2002 |
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Cable; Illegal (?)
Welcome to like four years ago. We used to have cable four years ago and the reception on it was great. Now strange men have come by the house and walked inside, spoke some vietnamese and looked at me funny as i sat in front of my computer and talked to my dad. Now i'm not saying we have illegal cable here. But more then likely we arent paying for it. :: sigh :: What to do? I watched channel 13 right after the cable was installed. A nice lovely special about bees. Anyways Bride of Chuckie is ok. Sadly this is the problem with cable. 90+ channels and nothing to watch. Well we do have black guys shaking their thing like they all that. But nothing really interesting. Maybe some good anime later tonight on Toon network but not likely. Everything gets censored on there anyways. :: sigh ::
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 10:21 PM
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Cable Guy??
For some reason, i think the cable guys are here. My dad came home early for whatever reason and strange men are now crawling about my house and they seem to be messing with the TV for whatever reason. My only guess is the cable guy is here doing whatever. It seems they are fixing the recepetion. But who knows. If they make any funny moves, man i got my sword right next to my desk. I watch lots of movies. I have an idea of how to use it. You kinda swing it around right? Something like that. Gay. Anyways i'll blog later tonight hopefully it wont be including dead cable guys run through.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 7:05 PM
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More Fun Dreams
Last night for some reason i dreamed i was in a Luna Halo video. Not real sure why. I dreamed i was in the video closer but not the one where Nathan Barlow even sings. The nice little version i have. He was just standing in the video kind of bobbing and nodding his head. It was very strange.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 1:26 PM
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wMonday, June 10, 2002 |
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I Sell Knives
Yay mikee got himself a job selling knives made by a company called Cutco.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 4:06 PM
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More Prospects for a Job
I just got off the phone with a company called Vector out in Garland/Mesquite. Apperently they are hiring. This is good for me. I called them up and actually got an interview today at 1. This is also good for me. Well here's to hoping its not like freaking Barnes and Nobles here. I really really hate them for that. Gay.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:48 AM
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Forward
Another day. I get to help the folks out today and prolly the rest of the summer around this time. If you dont know dont ask. If you do, you'll understand. Its a pretty easy idea but i will not explain it to you. Sweatshop. Take and run now child. Go!
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 10:36 AM
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Opera
There's something about this browser thats pretty good. In fact so good that when i run explorer or IE i tend to use mouse gestures with them. Mosue gestures are commands with the mouse that perform functions in the web browser the do things. Like when you hold down the right click button and move the mouse to the left. It takes you back a page. Simple. And yet really addictive. Also Opera loads about 25% faster pages then IE. I love opera. :: hugs ::
Linkage.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 10:34 AM
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wSunday, June 09, 2002 |
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A Church Day and a Carwash Day; Thoughts
Church wasnt too bad today. Nothing out of the ordinary really. I hope to see our ministry get up and going soon but its just that soon. Soon is one hour from now, one day from now, one week or month. :: sigh :: but the food was ok today. Nothing like good ol viet food. The once a week i get to eat it and the once a week that it doesnt completely gross me out.
I took the car to get washed today with my dad. I think my dad loves to wash cars or something. Maybe he gets a sick thrill from it. Or maybe he just likes clean things. I mean after all he does yell at my sister to clean the house. Well not yell. Tells in a rather straight forward manner. Thats my dad i guess.
I dont think my parents really like going to church. Strangely i dont think they really believe in God. If they do i cant say they really show it. They seem to just really work forever. Church, rain, sleet, snow, shine, 364.5 days a year and about 14-15 hour work days. Every day. I dont think my mom finds church practical to daily life unless she sees some great benefit from it. I think thats really why she doesnt come to church. She says a lot of stuff but her actions dont follow what she says so what am i supposed to think? My father. My father is a different story. I dont think he thinks the same way as my mother but he doesnt really take church seriously. I think both of them have this i can do good works business going on in their head but thats really not good for them.
My small little dog Mia likes to climb. I really dont know why. She likes freedom. She cant see to stay put in her confided area. She's pretty smart and yet sadly pretty dumb at the same time. I guess she's one of those kinds of people that when they see something they want they'll try to get it but yet are lazy about everything else. She's been getting out of her 'cage' these past couple of days but we watched her tonight and BAM! hahaha found out how she got out. I'm pretty surprised by her. But when she gets out she just runs around and pees and poos everywhere and its not a pretty sight. Well i guess thats the life of a 10 week old chihuahua.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 9:33 PM
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wFriday, June 07, 2002 |
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Some Thoughts and Friday (And Why i Love Them to Death)
There's just something in the air about fridays. I dont quite know what it is. Alot has crossed my rather small head today and i dont know why. I mean the first thought that i can really remember today was actually about Ashley. I mean not some passing thought but like serious, serious thought. I hadnt talked to her in a long time. Sunday i think? and then after that i really hadnt thought about her. She called today out of the blue much like she normally does. I dont know. I do miss her sometimes but i dont know. Honestly i really havent given much thought to girls. Some would say thats a good thing. Some would call me gay. I would say eh. Life moves on. I really dont know what to think. Well i need to finish her story. She yelled at me for that today. hahaha. For some reason i also thought about my death today. Driving home. Seriously. I'm happy alive. I'm happy dead. I'm just...happy. I dont know why. I cant really explain alot of things anymore. Its hard for me to understand. I think if i died anytime soon and by someone else's hand, it would be because they were to prideful. I dont know why i think that but i do. Should i? Hmm...
Cheesecake factory was pretty fun. I mean we tried to stuff our faces. But none of us finished our plates. Those things are huge. We took pictures of the urinal. I dont know why but i think its becoming a tradition. I mean we did it last year and this year. Why not? Chris got his digital camera and man its pretty awesome. So small and slick and prudy. After eating our fill at the cheesecake factory, we headed over to garland to hang out. Me, Tin, Timmy, and Nam balled around. I think i'm the only guy that likes to play barefooted. Go ghetto FOB's! I just dont like shoes that much when it comes to traction. I trust my feet more i guess. Of course a few years down the line my feet wont be so forgiving i'm sure. :: pets them :: There's just something about fellowshiping with friends that makes today great. Where everyone is really happy. Intelligent conversations really about stupid things. I think i listen to Tin talk about this asian place over by the school called java. Apperently pearl bubbles (?) get chewy in iced moccas. :: shrugs :: Man shoot. I'm straight up white washed. To tell you the truth i've never even heard of java before today. Man starbucks is it for me. :: sigh :: i hate this cough.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:46 PM
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wThursday, June 06, 2002 |
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More Yay, Morning Mystery, Breakfast Thought, Cheers
Feels good not to toss and turn all night or wake up once due to some strange dream or bathroom function that is needed to be performed. My body doesnt hurt so much today. No wooziness in the head but a sore throat. For the most part i figure i've recovered from the illness given to me. Which is good of course.
I woke up today. I was sweating. What the crap? Since when is sleep a strenuous workout? Should i put deodrant on before i rest? Maybe it'll keep me all nice and dry and maybe even help me get the woman of my dreams! :: rimshot:: lame.
Is it just me or when i was younger cereal boxes were a lot bigger? I mean like alot bigger. Like i remember a box of fruit loops being like freaking half my body size. The box of cereal i have now is like super thin. Like saying, 'Look how sexy and skinny i am.' Maybe not like that cuz it is a child's cereal box with all sorts of pretty colors but it is pretty darn skinny. Not really tall or fat either. Whats up with that?
Taking the dogs out for the daily potty break time in the mornings i find it strange to see my sister cheer when Monty took a dump. I dont know i think its the image of seeing my sister throw her arms up in the arm and giving a cheer as my little dog is crouched behind a mailbox doing his business. All this time i'm waiting for Mia to go and when she does she turns around and sniffs it. I'm thinking are you sniffing it to make sure that yes this is what came out of your body? I can never for the life of me understand dogs.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:57 AM
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wWednesday, June 05, 2002 |
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More Sick Dreams, Internet Fun
Last night i had a dream where i was sitting at a meeting with the presidents of fast food companies. Dont ask me. I just watch not like the other one. Anyways they got into an agruement about world demoniation (sp) and started beating each other up with their respective sandwiches. I think the guy from subway won. I mean cmon the foot long is going to have more of a reach then the big mac here. But the big mac does have more calories. So its kind of a toss up.
I cant believe i've sat in a chatroom since 12 this morning. Freaking crazy. Oh well. Still feeling kinda sick so hopefully i'll come around to feeling better.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 4:18 PM
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wTuesday, June 04, 2002 |
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Yay!
My fever broke. Thanks to my sister for infecting me with whatever she did. Though i'm a little sweaty. But no fever!
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 6:40 PM
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Sick Dreams
The boy opened his eyes. There were two men standing across the table. Both with their hands pressed hard to the table and growling at the boy.
'We want it back!'
The boy gave a blank look at the men. 'Crap' he thought. I'm dreaming. And i cant wake myself up. One man demanded whatever item the boy didnt have back. The boy said, 'i dont have it.' The man moved toward the boy. He took off his sunglasses and backhanded the boy across the face.
'I can feel pain in my dreams?' The boy thought. This isnt good.
The boy woke up in a sweat. The blanket he wore in his sleep was suffocating him. It was blistering. He removed the blanket. Chills ran up and down his bare back. 'Oh this isnt good.'
The boy closed his eyes again. A short man woke him up. 'Where is it?' He asked in a monotoned voice with glass eyes that seemed to stare past the boy. 'Not this again.' The short man floated over to him. The light inside the room disappeared. Two eyes only looked at him. 'Where is it?' 'I dont know what you're talking about.'
The eyes closed and then the boy felt darkness. He opened his eyes again. He held up his hand to his face. He couldnt see it. The boy looked around the room. He couldnt see anything. He looked at his clock and felt his muscles. 'Why are they sore?' The boy moved his muscles around. 'Oh this isnt going to be a good day.'
The boy closed his eyes again. He only awoke to hear jack hammering. He couldnt sleep. He peered out the window. His eyes werent functioning. He moaned. The chills once again ran down his back.'I hate being sick.'
Once more the boy closed his eyes. A council of three men stood before him. 'We need it. We need it now.' The boy looked around. A sword bit into his side. A mace hit his head. And then everything stood still. The boy heard something shuffling across the room. He couldnt move though. His arms hurt. His face hurt. Everything was painful. He couldnt get up.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 10:49 AM
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wMonday, June 03, 2002 |
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Dinner
I remembered why i dont like eating dinner with my parents. They talk about crap i dont care about. 'Michael do you know that i can pick up whatever i want of yours and go through whatever i want cuz we are family?' THey have total disregard for me, my feelings, and my privacy. Typical asian crap i guess. Then my mother has the nerve to bring religion into the conversation. 'Is this what they teach you in church?' I really hate that. I cant agrue with her about any point without something coming back into my face. Then she has the nerve to bring up my friends into the conversation. Wait now. Stop. Lets get something straight here. My mom doesnt know how my friends are. Simple as that. She cant make any kind of judgement about them until she meets them. But she does. 'You treat your friends better then your family.' Wait yes i do. Why? Have you stopped to consider that they have respect for me? Maybe know how to spell my name? When my birthday is? Maybe my favorite color? Maybe some simple stuff about me that do make me, me. My friends have respect for me. Myabe they arent the best but they do try. My parents on the other hand. Conversations between us are always about my attitude to them. Seriously. Thats all. 'Michael how come you're the black sheep of the family?' Because its so hard to work with beliefs i dont believe in. Because i dont contridicte myself and confuse my kids. That when you want them to get a job but yell at them for driving around too much. When all logic fails and i cant reason with them. When i try and play by their logic and rules but they always change them to suit their purpose. When THEY make me feel out of the family what can i do? No i cant always blame them. I too am at fault for not wanting to work with them on things. But when you think you're kids are out clubbing instead they are at church. When you have total disregard for them and no respect. No consideration of feelings. When you cannot realize that you're children are too people. You have a problem. Nearly 20. Only 3.
To think all this happened because my mom picked up my speaker today. She said to me, ' you treat you friends better then me. they can come and pick up your stuff and dig through.' WRONG. If anyone knows me, you ask before anything. I normally will let you do whatever just ask me. I hate it when people dont ask me. Its a personal pet peeve but some people i dont mind. But thats rare. When i started to protest, she knew i had her so she stopped me. I cant win against her logic.
Conversations between my mom have always been like this. Every since i was a teenager. This is my life. 'Fights' with my mom where if she doesnt like what i say, its disrespectful and i pay for it with my father. I cant win against them. Most people already know this about me. Most people know alot about me. But seriously. Writing something down in my little place on the web is nothing compared to what i have endured. No words can really describe what what i've seen, heard, and endured. Its a tough life. But i take comfort in the fact that God wont give me anything more then i can handle. That He's always by me.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:02 PM
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Bubbled
There's just something about Rockwall. Its so strange. One trip to walmart really opened my eyes to the kind of town i grew up in. One word can really describe it. Superficial. You prolly know what i'm talking about if i pointed out an example.
Every school has one of these guys. The rich spoiled guy that kind of throws his money in your face. Not literally of course but you know what i mean. The guy with the nicest car. The fancy clothes and at least one girl hanging off his arm. He usually has some $100+ hair cut and prolly his own credit card which he doesnt work for and pay off.
And you prolly know the kind of rich girl i'm talking about too. The one that just is the apple of every guy's eye. The one with a nice sports car that daddy of course pays for. Pedicure and manicure appointments every week at the same time. The one that can not be outdone at prom for the fluffiest dress ever or whatever other fad there is that year.
Well i'm sure you people know what i'm talking about. Well Rockwall actually is more like that is fifty percent of the people. No kinding. To a greater or lesser degree of course. Some will have jobs. Some will drive the lesser of the elite cars. Some will not be as perfect as they appear but in the truth of the sense that is my home town.
My trip to walmart was a funny one. I watched people. Not in the stalking kind of sense but observe what they do. I saw a girl today with the words cheer on her rear end of shorts that were prolly to short for my tastes. What is gained by this? Let me tell you. You get 12+ boys looking at your butt. Let me go into more detail. You get hormone driven guys looking at your butt. Not only will they be teenagers but what about that 30 year old guy that just checked you out? Or the married 40 year old man? Or worse yet someone that could be your granddad? Does someone like that get a sick thrill out of guys checking out the butt and of course using the excuse 'i wanted to see what it said' on it? Maybe. I really cant say.
Or how about the women that dress up to go to :: drum roll :: walmart. Not every girl or woman of course is like this but seriously. Go to a store and watch people. Little girls dressing up, the value of sex being taken down from where it was intended and thrown into little children's faces at a shopping store check out line. You have two underage twin models pimping out eyewear and while on the internet you have a site that is counting down til they are legal. There is something seriously wrong with america. Where perversion is alright as long as it doesnt happen to me motto goes on. I dont think that people really realize how messed up we have allowed ourselves to be.
Of course enough ragging on the ladies of Rockwall. The men arent better of course. The fancy crs they drive prolly cuz they have had some kind of midlife crisis. I dont think the notion of men within Rockwall having affairs would really surprise me so much. I dont think that anything about the town would surprise me too much. The fact that some people can go into the airport church and just sit there praise God and worship Him on a Sunday and then just return to being the abusive father, the hateful son, the tempting daughter, or the spiteful mother. Just going to church as a cover up or for show. Sad almost. I hate when sometimes i turn on the TV and see something like someone was murdered and the news crew is interviewing a neighbor and they say something like 'They went to church. They were good people.' Well that goes to show what happens behind closed doors isnt pretty. That outside we sit here and look all nice and wonderful. But inside we're ugly and we dont want the world to see it. How the fact that putting on more and more makeup or getting a nicer car makes you think you feel good but really stop and think about why you do such things. To show off? To say that you are better then someone by the grace of your parents? To say you are the higher being and you need attention and need worship?
I pity people like that. I pity my hometown. I know not everyone is like this of course. But more often then not people arent who they appear to be. I wonder if that going to a coffee shop sitting around having psudeo (sp) discussions on religion, politics, or whatever makes youth feel grown up? (Kudos to Brent for this bit) Sitting around sipping your frappichino thinking that the world outside doesnt concern you because you've never been near a war or that the closest the economy comes to hurting you is at a gas pump. Sitting there faking such crap. And yet people like that go home feeling nice because they feel smart. That yay for them to participate in a discussion about something and they made a comment. They were heard. Yuppies. The fact that you doing that has no bearing on anything. You may as well just read something and then recitied it in front of your friends for kicks.
One more knock on girls. I remember my high school days. Christianity reigning as a fad or worse yet. Something you do to be forgiving only to do what you did again. Girls getting dressed up for school. To entice the little boys and get stared at. How they sat there and would complain if they broke a nail and then complained about it an entire day saying that yes that nail ruined my day because i'm no longer perfect. Open your eyes. You are not perfect. Stop trying to be. What is up with all the girls trying to toe the line with hoochie wear back then? 'Oh look my shorts arent too short.' I questioned whether or not there were an affairs between a student and teacher during my years. To even question if something like that went on means that someone has already crossed a line they werent supposed to. People today play games that are just too dangerous.
Now pointing all this out doesnt put me above anyone else. Well in a way it does in the fact that i realized this whiling everyone is still dancing and falling and i'm watching, no longer drawning into the dance. Far from anything, i am still by no means perfect. One day but not in this lifetime. I only wrote this down to point out how stupid we are. How everyone thinks that america is so great. Is this the america dream that we were meant to come to? If it is. I'm sorry. How low and materialistic your dreams are. The car you drive does not define you as a person. The noise it can make or how fast it goes does not either. The dress you wear or how you put up your hair doesnt make you who you are. Covering yourself up only means that you have a self esteem problem.
If i didnt say it before, i know some good people in the town i live. Dont get me wrong. But there are far too many people just sitting around and masquarding as 'good people' who havent realized what they've become or the stupid things they do. Going out and getting smashed every night. Thats fun? Lighting up pot and having a good laugh. Thats fun? I'm sorry i guess i dont share in what you call fun. Leave me out of your 'fun' then. I'll pray for you. I'll pray for how badly i wish you can hit rock bottom and wake up from your mudane life and how stupid you dont know you've become. That when you wake up you will understand everything i see. And how much potential you have. Wake up fast.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 8:33 PM
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Dreams
I had strange dreams last night.
First dream i can remember is my parents going into Hai's house and stealing his books and burning them all.
Second dream was Nintendo released Earthbound 2 and i was playing it. I even dreamed the cheesy graphics.
So strange.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:44 AM
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wSunday, June 02, 2002 |
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Advice
Cherish what little time you have with people. They may not be there the next moment. Dont wait around forever to say something on your tongue. Dont sit idle.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 10:39 PM
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Oh Wonderful Day
'Why do people enjoy sleep so much?'
Today i spent the day with Brent and pretty much showed him how my typical sunday metro's go. I hope not to make him feel outta place but strangely he grinned and beared it better then i had thought. He was approached often which i knew would happen but he handled each situation better then i had orginally thought. Kinda surprised me i guess. I never realized it today but i guess we asians do have some kind of close knit bond. Almost all family really. I guess sometimes its the fact that no one can really understand an asian other then another one. But today was pretty fun. Metro service was awesome. Chasers have really improved from day one in my opinion and it showed today. Just a good day in general. Oh and i'm not so upset as i was last night. Yay for me. Anyways, wonderful day today.
'Because they have nothing to look forward to tomorrow'
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 10:15 PM
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wSaturday, June 01, 2002 |
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Today
I attended Tin and Chris's graduation today. That was quick possibly the quickest graduation ever. Done in like one hour. Not bad. After that we made a mad rush back to Chris's house to eat and well we beat them back thats for sure. Re/Learned how to play dominos. Thats an interesting game to say the least. Tomorrow Brent will be accompanying me pretty much the entire day. Why is beyond me. Asians are strange people. Anyways tonight i got my feelings hurt tonight pretty badly. Self esteem takes yet another hit. I dont expect people to understand. Now it makes me reconsider sharing personal things about my life. I mean sure there's this blog but there's alot i leave out of this that i share with people. Apperently much like someone ruining my XP cd, everyone else suffers to thanks to one person. Or in this case two people.
I know we joke around in humor and fun but when the person isnt laughing anymore isnt that time to stop? I think when they cant laugh about it anymore its no longer a joke. It should be taken in that fashion.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:27 PM
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Redrawing Lines
Hai: i don't know what's worse
Hai: being wanted by michael
Alex: hahaha
Hai: or chasing after michael
Alex: haha
There's a line and that went over. Its not funny anymore. I'm tired. Tired of it.
Emo kid
posted by
Michael at 11:11 PM
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